9-29-10 - Inspired by a Mom's love

FYI- Some of the next few blogs might be posted out of order (I always put the date things occur in the title).


On to the story:


This morning when the weather was cool and crisp, Mia & I were in the bathroom getting ready for the day with the window open. This normally would be nothing special but on this glorious morning, our peaceful routine was disturbed by extremely loud lecturing, nay yelling, through the window. At first we struggled to tell what or who the woman was yelling at. I was very happy it wasn't me.


After a few minutes we realized the women was "talking" to her child. She was saying how she expected more out of him, and wanted him to do more to help out around the house. How she and her husband (I assume the father based on some of the comments) needed the assistance. She was suggesting all types of ways her child could pull his own weight around the house.


She was expressing her displeasure at such great volumes we quickly picked up on the fact that this was in fact her 21 year old son. Now this may make you pause and wonder why I called him a child previous. It is not in fact because, according to his mother, he was acting irresponsibly. It is because I believe this is how the mother always spoke to her child. At first this made me sad, thinking about how frustrated the mom was, how presumably irresponsible this adult male is, and how this mom felt yelling was the most effective way to communicate.


But then a thought occurred to me: This mom, though frustrated, is showing her love.



LOVE???  You might ask. Yes, LOVE.



I'd bet this woman was raised with yelling parents, people tend to live out the pattens they themselves are shown. If this mom resorts to yelling I'm sure that's the way she was raised.


Once I started listening again, I heard it, the LOVE. She was asking for her son to show them respect, to be responsible, to have priorities, and to in essence "grow up".  But she didn't know how to ask for these things, and probably didn't know how to show him this when he was younger. And all because she herself was not raised with those tools.


I do believe the tools can be learned later in life, and just because you weren't raised by angelic parents doesn't mean you can't teach your own children how to show love, accept love, and communicate love.
I'm not saying it is easy, and I'm not even sure this woman knows that's really what she's frustrated about.



So today I'm challenging you with three tasks:




#1 - Show love to someone you don't normally show love to.


#2  - Accept love, even when it's hard


#3 - When you hear frustration (yourself or others) try and hear what they are really frustrated with.